31st may

had tuition.

then went to lucky plaza to help mummy pass smth.

met cy aft that. (:

walked to heeren.

saw olinda cho along the way.

and my darling pair of heels which gave me TEN FUCKING BLISTERS broke.

"good riddance"-zr

for the first time in my life, i walked arnd barefooted okay.

at HEEREN.

OMG.

bought a new pair of flip flops frm flash and splash.

pink with polka dots.

cute sehh.

cy said they're cute. ((:

oh wells.

purdy's cming frm msia tmrw. ((:

fun.

kaes. i shall go chat now.

toodles.

-out.

30thmay

ohkays.
im bored.
nthg to do.
):
cy asked me to go to his class bbq.
but im jus too lazy to even step out of my hse.
sorry. (:


went to the beach with darling fets ytd aft chinese o's.
pics pics!

actually there are alot alot more photos.
but they're of camwhore STEFANIECHENSHUWEN
so thats why they aint published.
hahaha.
that silly girl.


she kept her hair relatively dry throughout.
until we wanted to wash up at the toilet.
she pressed the button and the water CAME POURING DOWN on her.
hahaha.
i have the photo.
but she'll kill me if i post it.
haahha
for my own viewing pleasure then. (:

aft awhile, she put her hand in her pocket and guess wat?

she had 2 pockets full of SAND.


hahah!!! im so so so amused.



oh anyw.
this is the pic of the nike dress that I WANT!!!

*hints

8moredays.

-out

__ sad

rahh.
im sad.
but well, i tried.
i gave but you dint wanna take.
so yeah.
im sad.
but i guess i can go on.
wait. correction.
i WILL go on.
i dont even know wat made me want to change my happy SINGLE status.
wats wrong with me.

oh wells.
i'll cry tonite.
but tmrw on, i'll be strong.



rroar.
wish u were with me.
i'd be the happiest girl on earth.


someday you'll know
that i was the one for you.
(:



chinese O's were alright.
i guess.
hahah



((:

gtg do amath now.
fck la.



9more days.



-out

party

party at dxo on the 10th of june
tickets at $20 inclusive of one drink.


anyone interested, please contact me. (:

_sorry

sigh.
i knew i shudnt have sent that msg.
if only i knew you'd be like that.
i shudnt have tried.
darn.


i wish i knew how u realie feel
abt me
abt my msg


i wanna know.
realie.
even if its negative, we can still be friends right?

you said before that i shud ask if he was ready to accept anot.
but u dint say that he MAY ignore me forever.


dont, please.
dont.


dont make me feel bad.




love


-out

18th may

I let my heart be given to him
even as he runs his knife through it.
His presence is a natural anaesthetic.
I bleed, but I laugh.
Because for those glorious moments,
I feel so intensely alive.
It is only when I am alone,
sobering up to grim unforgiving reality,
that I realize how deep the wounds go and
how much it will take to heal.

the higher i climb,
the lower i fall.
and it hurts.

So here I am now,
locked away in the abyss of my room,
paying the price for my time of fun.
all alone.
knife alongside.
i bleed.



i cant seem to let go.
i cant seem to stop.
help me.
please.

hmm
bored.
uncle seems to have forgotten evrything that happened.
wtf.
so here i am.


i dunno wat to blog abt.
so i guess i'll jus leave pics.
(:


me and stef -sexxyy!

the BODOHFUCKS

me doing work. (: studious.

my band! ((: daniel and his new polish.

honestly, i miss daniel alr.
we need a bassist, man.



-out.

shall talk abt ytd first.
there were stuff that i dint talk abt yet, i think.
or rather, photos i dint upload.
so here they are.



me-drying my hair.


zid-tall!!! ((:


okay. back to today.
woke up to mummy's nagging.
-_-"
then got my schedule done.
and got on to packing my table.
yes. its no longer messy.
it will be neat. (for a few days, at least)
here are the evidence.


hey!where have all the books gone to?


there they are!


gosh. so much JUNK!


me and my sis-while packing.


half an hour later.


45mins later..


ha! its done! all neat.


this is the right corner of my table.


this is my planner. (: with THE photo.


sui arh...




then later. my cousins came over.
so cute laas.



this is my two younger cousins ben and samuel (frm top to bottom)


samuel!!


orange toe socks. hha.



went out with mummy and daddy soon after.
went to harbourfront for tea.
had the taiwan snacks thingaye.
not too bad.
then headed to queensway. (:
mummy bought me my much-coveted Nike Cortez! (:

and mummy paid for a new bag for me and sis.

but obviously we'll have to pay her back.
-_-"



sigh.
as the saying goes, all happy things must cme to an end.
i realized benjamin used my hp to send out 5MMS.
all 5 contained the same content.
so when i reached home, i asked him if he did it. and why.
then his dad (my big uncle) asked him why.

big uncle: who did u send it to?
ben: i forgot
big uncle: im asking u a question who did u send it to?
ben : i dunnoe the name
big uncle: *shouts* WHO?
ben: *mumbles smth*
-they leave-
-small uncle appears-
small uncle: wats the big fuss abt?
me: ben used my hp to send out 5 mms
small uncle: so? big deal.
me: well, it costs money..
small uncle: so? very big deal meh? kick up such a big fuss and make ben get scolding
me: i jus asked...
small uncle: *interrupts* no money then dont use the phone la. jus cancel the line.
me: thats not the point..
small uncle: *interrupts* then shut up.
-he walks away-
me: you dont have to scold me..
-small uncle walks back-
small uncle: why? not happy ah?
-walks closer-
me: i jus said, u dont have to scold me. its not my fault.
small uncle: not happy is it.
-walks even closer, whole body shaking-
auntie: rachel, come here.
me: -shakes head- gosh. -walks to my auntie-



man.
a million words cant explain how i felt.
i was shocked.
i mean, it wasnt even my fault.
scold me for wat?
the money is not the problem.
the point is abt the values.
i jus wanted to teach the kid the right thing.
and i ended up getting scolded??

shocked completely, i cried as if i nvr cried before
i couldnt take it.
just cried and cried.
msged 4ppl abt wat happened
and only one responded.
gabe called and listened to me cry.

thanks gabe.
thanks for listening.
you dont know how much that call meant to me.
thanks for being a great fren.
thank you. (:
loves.

so as im typing this
i doubt my uncle and i will ever be reconciliated.
i dont wish to.
its not the first time.
fuck.
dont even feel like staying at home.
thank GOD tmrw i'll be out the whole day.
same on sunday, and monday.

you should realie look at my schedule for the next 3days.
its CRAZEE.

saturday: tuition-11am-1230pm.
rehearsal-3-430pm.
training-5-7pm(hafta leave early)
on duty at dhall-7pm

sunday: expo-730am-345pm
theory class-415-515pm

monday: sch-745-150pm
emath rem-??
aspen-5-7pm
concert-730 til late.


so packed.
at least i dont have to be home.
thank God.





so here i am
still sad.



















-out.

__ 11th may

jus as i was there.
i felt this sadness looming over me.
felt so lonely all of a sudden.
jus wanted to cry right there in bk.


i love my frens.
i dunno why i wanted to cry either.
*shrugs*
sighh.
i miss.




only you can make my heart beat ever so fast.
only you can put that smile back on my face.
only you can make me happy again.
only you can make me ME again.
only you can complete me.
only you can love.
only you.









im bored laa.
where are you??




-out

__ 10th may

i am BORED.

bodohfuck.

thats so priya.



lol.
got back papers today.
dont realie wanna talk abt it.

so near yet so far.



fck laa.





anyw.
me nrl and priya went to the beach aft lunch.

ate durian and crapped.
lol.
here are photos.
loves!

priya.nrl-looking spas.me

priya-tongueout.me.nrl

half priya.nrl.me

three of us AGAIN.

sand.

that bodohf nrl took this. wat an ass.




and we saw troops marching.
with the sign "caution! troops marching"


be my valentine.

-out.

__ 8th may

in the com lab now cos lui dint cme.
*cheers frm everyone*
nyaHA.
i know we're evil.
but who doesnt want a free period? ((:


stupid zidd's talking to me abt cum.
she says a girl's cum taste better than a guy's.
wtv. (:




i am bored, man.




passing stef my player later.
means i'll be player-LESS.

damn.




i miss you dude.


说爱我，说爱我
难道你不再爱我
我眼泪滴下来
你从来不曾看我


你


-out.

__ 07 may

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
if you only knew what I'm going through

I just can't smile without you
you came along just like a song
and brighten my daywho would of believed that you where part of a dream
now it all seems light years away
and now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel sad when your sadI feel glad when you're glad
if you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile

now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind mean
d you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
you see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
if you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you


is it just my wishful thinking
or do u realie love me?


15yrs 11mths

__ 06052006

Don't know what you do to me but
Everytime I'm with you it's a natural high
It's like re-discovering Eden
with chocolate -coated rainbows and cotton candy skies
And everytime you look my way I wish I had the guts to say

There's something in your eyes
Something in your smile
Something in the way you move me
You make me want to sing
Make me want to dance
Make me want to cry
I'm falling in love with you.

I think I'll hire Cupid

He'll make you see
I'm more than your friend
You'll be tossing and turning
Counting the hours till you see me again
And when we meet you'll
Kiss my hand and say the words I've longed to hear

There's something in your eyes
Something in your smile
Something in the way you move me
You make me want to sing
Make me want to dance
Make me want to cry
I'm falling in love with you
You make me want to sing,
make me want to dance,
make me want to cry
I'm falling in love with you.

__ 6th may

polling day.
jus got back frm tuition
anyw.

thanks broc for helping me with my blogskin!!
love love. (: <3s

supposed to go out with stan and neys later.
but my mom is pms-ing and wont let me out.
): ):
damn.

anyw. shaun's down with some virus.
poor bro.
he said earlier that he was feeling pretty weak.
stupid virus.
RROAR.

went for dinner with broc last nite.
talked alot.
my new bestie!! :D

kae i gtg study for the stupid chinese O's.
adela made me promise her that she wont see me at the end of the year.
so yeah.


-out.

__ 2nd may

one month, batman. ((:
ha.
i wrote this long poem thingy abt us.
but im not gonna blog it.
private. (:

lol.


oh wells.
went all the way to amk JUST FOR YOU.
be glad okayy.
i dont do that for anyone everyday.
(:
all the best for YOUR papers.
esp chinese!
studying with me is funn aites.
i want the photo.
i dont care.
shud have robbed u of it.




sch today was alright..
mrs thong said i did badly for geog
cheong said the same thing abt my chem.
@#&%(!!!
rahh.
irritating.
grrr.


bro's skeptical abt my choice of guys aft seeing the last one.
lols



im eating a fruit salad my mummy made for me. ((:
NICE.




yes i hvnt uploaded photos we took last thurs.
*guilty*


shyt.


netball carn on the 28th may. (:
fun fun FUN.


kaes shall go enjoy my fruit salad.

miss you alr.